Brit flicks eh? What a load of rubbish they are. If they’re not being all gritty and realistic about poor people, it’s some posh twit in a romantic comedy. Mostly the former though it seems. I can do without it. Why are they so obsessed with these ‘real life’ films here? Why is there never much in the way of iimaginitive fantastcal thinking here? Is it a budget thing? Is it just easy? Is it considered the right thing to do? Anyway it seems to have gone a bit wrong in this case.

The two suited chaps that do the investigations, thingy and thingy.

Skeletons is a bit different you see. Well. A lot different. It’s quite definitely one of the most imaginitive and fantastical ‘Brit Flicks’ I’ve ever seen. It’s also one of the best looking. Rarely have I seen the English countryside framed so captivatingly. But I’m kind of geting ahead of myself, let me take you back to where this all began.

I heard about the film through Mark KERmode and Simon Mayo’s Wittertainment films show on Radio 5. It sounded reasonably interesting and it was suppoed to be a bit surreal. So when the opportunity to go see it and get a Q&A with the director afterwards arrived at the Sheffield Showroom cinema, I HAD to go. To be honest though, I tend not to really like Kermode’s favourites and this being a Brit Flick undoubtedly made it a bit rubbish. Especially as it was also supposedly a comedy (which it sort of is and sort of isn’t). I feared the worst and nearly didn’t go in the end due to running late. But I did. Within the first 5 minutes of it I knew I had made the right decision.

The opening shots of two suited oddballs walking along without the camera constantly cutting between them had me knowing this was going to be special. Modern cinema is so guitly of hyperactive over eager editing that I’ve come to reluctantly accept it as the norm and stop complaining about it. So instead I must champion something such as this which allows the viewer to settle into the company of the two people with whom we are walking. The film subtly draws you in without giving you the slightest clue as to what is really going off. You know they’re going somewhere to do something but you don’t know what.

A fine example of the stunning cinematography

It’s something the film does very well, having things happening which don’t seem to necessarily make much sense to you but yet allows you to accept them as just what they do. Which so happens to be the revealing of people’s secrets via visiting and living out their recent history via use of a cupboard and strange deviced. But that’s by the by. What they are doing and how is not the most important factor. Because it’s all about the people. Obviously.

The central focus of the film is the job of finding the lost husband of a woman living a somewhat isolationary existence with her son and daighter. Though 9 years had gone by she’d never stopped looking. Which is what we’re really looking at in this film. Clinging onto a past that has long gone and not moving on. One our suited chaps is addicted to going into his own childhood to a fond memory involving his lost parents rather than focusing on the here and now. Its through these elements that film gets its biggest emotional pull, especially toward some of the later scenes.

Jane, the slightly mad but lovely 'woman'

The woman in question is played by Danish actress Paprika Steen who captures such delightful obsession, desperation, hope and eccentricity in her performance. You see a woman whose nerves have been frayed and is only kept together by her daily search for the husband who disappeared without a trace. She also has a teenage daughter (who is 21) who has been a mute for several years.

This daughter is played by the delightful and characterful Tuppence Middleton who is more expressive as a mute than most actresses you’ll see on the screen these days. She plays quite a significant role in the film but I don’t want to go into it as much as I’d like because I don’t want to be spoilering anything.

Tuppence being lovely

There’s much in this film that will remind you of Inception should you have seen that. You may also think it’s a bit like Existenz. Or maybe Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind. Or maybe even Ghostbusters. Even a bit of Pulp Fiction can be seen to be there. The film takes the best elements of many of cinema history and blends it with the stage, which is undoubtedly from where the less hectic feeling has come. But in taking such diverse elements something new has been created that is utterly astonishing and captivating. Unlike Inception, which for me seemed to be largely an excuse for a few action sequences linked by a bit of a gimmick.

This film to me seemed to be more about feelings and achived an incredible amount on an extremely limited budget. From what I’ve been able to determine, said budget was around £400,000 and funded by the National Lottery, Scott Films and EM film or something. Quite an achievement compared to Inception’s $200 million budget. Especially had the talent of (hello to) Jason Isaacs involved as well.

Hello to Jason Isaacs!

There’s more I could say about it being about forming new bonds to replace old ones but I’ve gone on at huge length about this already and I don’t want to try your patience. Much as director Nick Whitfield said in the Q&A aftwerwards “You don’t usually go to see [a film or stage play] and say ‘It was alright but it was a bit short’ do you?”. This film was a perfect 94 minutes of gorgeous visuals (entirely through camera placement, not effects), involving editing (courtesy of Rachel Tunnard) and sharp witty script.

It’s the best film I’ve seen this year. Possibly for a few years actually come to think of it. See it if you can. Screenings are limited but have a look here to see when it might be nearby. Failure to see this on the big screen would be a real shame. It needs that big screen and uses it to the full.

All images taken from the offical site (which they hopefully won’t mind) and are all by Chris Harris

This is the last Iconochromatic. Of season 1. Even though you probably thought it ended quite some time ago.

If you want us back you’ll have to clap and stomp your feet and possibly shout ” I C M! I C M”. Gradually increase the frequency of claps and stomps until it’s a general thundering. Once you have reached maximum possible frequency of said actions cheer and shout wildly.

Maybe then.  We’ll come back on stage. MAYBE.


Games!
-Red Narbacular Guerilla Saints Quest 2
-Portal
Films!
-Iron Man 2
-Taken
--Supernatural (1933)
-Gold Diggers of 1933
-The Disappearance of Alice Creed
Books:
- Bambi Vs Godzilla by David Mamet

Duncan starts listening to a Podcast:
-Escape Pod

Music:
-Still Alive. Yes. THAT song. Which you’ve heard billions of times on the internet by now.
-Koi No Dance by Morning Musume (This was featured as the second level of Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan! and was the only decent song in the game despite most people going mad for this crappy Linda Linda track or whatever it was)
-This Could Be The End by the Jan Doyle Band. AS THIS COULD BE THE END. ONLY YOU THE LISTENER CAN SAVE US.

Lack of response to this means there will be no more Iconochromatic. You’ll only have yourself to blame if that happens.

 

Yes we’re back after a particularly vicious hack attack. To celebrate we’re going to have a long delay in publishing the next podcast. Hurrah!

Maybe we should have had other passwords than ‘password’. Tsk. You live and learn.

As I sit right now watching some terrible b-movie trash called Project Shadowchaser 3, I felt I should write about my experiences with this non b-movie trash. It makes a nice balance. Or something. Though I’ve got a worrying feeling that I might enjoy Shadowchaser more because it’s got spaceships in it. Things with spaceships in them are always best. Can you think of a film with spaceships in that ISN’T worth watching? Thought not.

There are definitely no spaceships in Bad Lieutenant. If there were though, they’d probably be piloted by lizard people who have come to enslave the human race but are pretending to be peaceful human aliens. Would we all like to achieve ability to direct such a thing and be a V- earner (Good grief, you’re even more fired after that – Ed).

So it’s loosely based on the old film called Bad Lieutenant which is a film I haven’t seen and from what I’ve heard about it, I don’t want to. This film features Nic Cage going crazy. I like Nic Cage going crazy. To my mind though the best Nic-Cage-Goes-Crazy film is Bringing Out the Dead. In which Nic plays a paramedic who turns to drugs to help him cope with the stresses and strains of his job.

However, in Project Shadowchaser 3, two spaceships have just crashed into each other. Two really big ones. You know like say the big spaceship from Aliens and the spaceship from 2001. For example. Not like Star Trek shuttle craft or Battlestar Gallactica vipers. More Babylon 5 like stuff. But again more like the big battleships than the x fighers things. The crew seem most distressed at this situation as it has undoubtedly caused problems with life support systems and whatnot. Indeed someone has just informed them that power relays are still down.

Anyway Bad Lieutenant is a bit like Bringing Out the Dead in a couple of ways because Nic is taking drugs in it to help with his problems and he does some hallucinating and he saves some peoples’ lives. So really it’s probably more a remake of Bringing Out the Dead than the original Bad Lieutenant. I’m going to put a picture in here so that you don’t get too bored of all this text. The picture is probably not going to be relevant to the review so you’re probably going to wonder what cunning message I’m sending with it on first glance. You might wonder how it might be cunningly relevant to this film. But the fact of the matter is, as you will be reading now, that the picture was selected at random.

In BOTD (as I’m know calling Bringing Out the Dead) he wasn’t such an on the edge person as he is here. He’s angry crazy here, whereas in BOTD he’s mellow crazy. John Goodman is in that too. He and Nic are in an ambulance together and it crashes but they just laugh about it afterwards. Probably because they’re both fine really. Maybe at the ridiculous futility of their existence and the fact that though they have crashed and are alive the person they were going to rescue is now dead. Probably.

Anyway the film Bad Lieutenant didn’t really appeal to me all that much. Nic felt a bit fake at times and it had Eva Mendes in. She plays a high class prostitute. WHICH I’M SURE WASN’T MUCH OF A STRETCH FOR HER. I don’t like her much. Her and her stupid pouty face. And her mole. No, she doesn’t have a pet that is known for making mounds of earth in her garden, I’m on about a facial feature. Actually she might have such a pet, I don’t know. I’ve never investigated her that much.

Meanwhile in Project Shadowchaser 3 they are investigating a desolate crashed spaceship. I dare say that place is a tomb tombtombtombtombtmbtmbtmbtmtmtmtmtttttttttttttttttiiii

Implode is still their finest work. They’re playing live in Sheffield soon, I must make sure I see them. The PS3  film is clearly very much ‘inspired’ by Alien etc. I wonder what the previous ones in the series were all about. I think the first one had Dolph Lundgren in it. Oh and now a dog is sad in it as someone has just died. It was  a black man BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THEY ARE EXPENDABLE. Racists.

Though I don’t like Eva Mendes or the roles she usually plays I must admit I felt a bit bad when she got beaten up and I thought she looked a bit better afterwards. It just removed that annoying ‘I’m such a sexy sultry dirrty girl’ look and that was a big improvement. I think she probably wears too much make up usually and she wasn’t wearing much in the “I’ve been beaten up” scene.

The film does extended scenes of iguana vision as the it progresses, presumably to highlight the continuing breakdown of Nic Cage’s character’s mental state. He does tend to hallucinate Iguanas in it. The scene from the trailer where he’s trying to shoo some off the table is pretty good. But it’s in the trailer so you know about it and that’s not so good.

I just felt the film didn’t really manage to be either light enough or dark enough. It was somewhere uncomfortable in the middle.

There are now lazers being shot about in PS3. There should have been more lazers in PS3. Two people have been killed in the film so far by an unseen assailant. We have seen things from the point of view of this assailant and it is suggested they might be an android or robot or something.

Here’s another image to stop you getting bored:

The audience I was with seemed to laught at it quite a bit in places where I didn’t. There were the obvious points like the ‘soul still dancing’ bit from the trailer but there were others they found funny which left me totally cold. Also I’m just not really into the crime thriller style film. So it just wasn’t really the sort of thing I’m interested in watching.

The ending is interestingly open to interpretation. Some see it as all in the mind of Nic and others suggest it’s Werner making comments on how the US system makes heroes out of horrible people. Have I given the ending away there? Not really as I haven’t mentioned whether he dies or not. Which I’ll leave open. Personally I felt the ending to be too unreal to believe. Thus it had to be in his mind.

Anyway in typical fashion I’m sure this is just another example of me being a wrongo. It’s not a bad film I’d say, but it wasn’t significantly brilliant. Certainly not to the extent a lot of people think.

In PS3, the enemy has been revealed to be blonde Dolph esque android terminator thing which can change its shape somewhat. It recently masqueraded as the old professor type bloke and was acting weirdly. Russian female crew member finds the real professor’s body and it reveals itself to her so that she was scared. Why it didn’t attack her I don’t know. Just likes scaring Russian female crew members I guess. Oh and they found a video message left by someone from the desolate space ship who handily explained the plot to everything before he died.

I’m quite enjoying PS3 in a crap b-movie terminator/alien rip off way.

Surely you’re not allowed to add 3D to a film unless it’s the third one in the series, right? Jaws 3D, Friday the 13th Part 3(d), Freddy’s Dead The Final Nightmare 3d (in places) (That last one is no. 6 you dolt. – Ed).

Er anyway. What am I doing go to see a film primarily aimed at kids? Well. I have a bit of a history of it actually. I mean I even went to see the Bratz film. AND I enjoyed it. Sometimes kids films are really good. Even if they are aimed at annoying kids. Like this one kind of is. I mean that horrid creation N-Dubz are on the soundtrack! Ugh! There’s plenty of other music that Duncan would despite as well but I’m  less averse to. It’s well known that I like pretty much anything with synthesisers in.

Another reason to see it was that I’ve rather enjoyed previous dancing related films like Breakdance the Movie (Aka Breakin), Step Up and Step Up 2: The Streets. Which probably means I’ll enjoy Step Up 3D (Hurrah proper usage! – Naming fans)

Anyway, what’s it all about? It’s about a girl in a street dance ‘crew’. Her boyfriend who leads them decides he needs some time off from her and the ‘crew’ so she takes over. It doesn’t go too well at first and most of the crew leave until she ends up improbably involved with a ballet school which has an unconventional teacher who thinks the ‘crew’ can teach her dancers to liven up.  So the ballet people get trained in Street Dance and they girly face’s crew for a forthcoming competition. Naturally in the end a fusion of ballet and street (Strallet? Balleet?) is formed to help them stand out from (and in) the competition.

So is it any good? Well yes. Sort of. It’s predictable tosh and it’s acted like it’s a CBBC production. It really has that feel of something like Grange Hill. It’s not a film that’s going to appeal to the likes of Duncan. He’d really hate it. So if you think that Duncan is right about everything then you’re probably best off not seeing this. However if you like Grange Hill and Step Up you’ll probably like this.

I thought at first that the lead girlyface would be really annoying but she actually turned out to be really endearing. She’d got just enough niceness to carry the film without being overly gushy and avoiding the twat factor. I think it’s also pretty nice that a teen girl is given opportunity to lead the film. Her acting isn’t marvelous and she does look rather unfortunately blank at times but overall it’s competent enough to not interfere with your enjoyment.

The dancing is all pretty good if you like that whole Flawless/Diversity think. Which I do happen to think is quite good. On occasion anyway.

The 3D has been said to be the best yet. Well if that’s the best it has to offer us then it really is pointless. It would have been much better in 2D but there was no option to see it in 2D. Bah.

It’s a nice enough way to spend 90 minutes but isn’t really a truly standout bit of film making. It was never meant to be.

Games!
- DJ Hero
- Red Faction: Guerilla
- APB
- World of Warcraft (part 2)

Films! – With guest reviewer, Eddie.
- Whip It (2009)
- Night Nurse (1931)
- Transporter 3 (2008)

Music!
- Hostages (level 1) – Alberto Gonzales
- APB – David Whittaker
- System Shock (Elevator music) – Greg LoPiccolo

This week’s recommended podcast is Ludus Novus: False Narrativism, by Gergor Weir. Try the episodes on Oszustwo and Awesome Zone.

 

Being as Iconochromatic is moving into text form for the forseeable future (I’m not entirely sure how forseeable the future is but I’m pretty sure I can forsee Iconochromatic remaining text based until the end of this review anyway), I thought it was about time I did some kind of update.

I’m still seeing a ridiculous number of films so I’ve got to have some outlet for what I think. Even if what I think is pretty vague and rubbish. Maybe in another 20 years I’ll get almost halfway good. But anyway.

Jake Gyllenhall is not someone I would have expected in this role. That’s one thing I know for sure. But them when I come to think of it, I’m not entirely sure what roles I do expect him in. What have I seen him in before? Hmm. (Checks imdb) Ah I’ve seen him in Donnie Darko and Zodiac. So he’s a bit of an nnnnnhmm actor then usually. But here he’s the dashing swashbuckling hero. With muscles and stuff. Which is a bit of a change.

Do you want my take on the story? Forget it. I’m hopeless at explaining plots so I’m not going to. All that matters is he has to wander around the desert a lot with an unwilling Gemma Arterton (who wants her dagger back) trying to avoid being killed, resulting in lots of exciting fantasy action escapades.

Except in a way there’s an awful lot of wandering and not necessarily that much action but even so Jake and Gemma’s character friction (which you know is going to end in romance) does seem to work. Yeah we’ve seen it all a million times before but the two actors have a decent presence and definite likeable qualities. Gemma does take a bit of getting used to in this role at first as she’s  meant to be middle eastern (they’ve even tried putting lots of fake tan on her to make her look the part a bit more) but you do get over that pretty quickly.

Because it’s set in oldentimes everyone has to be using English accents. Which isn’t so hard for Ben Kingsley and Gemma of course but commendation has to go to Jake for doing a pretty convincing job. His accent is largely ‘noble’  but tinged with a bit of ‘common’ which could be accidental but fits with his character being an adopted prince (adopted for his defending of the weak as a child). I think Jake really does a great job of carrying the film, it’s what he’s got to do of course and it’s just good that he does achieve it. You do have situations where unlikely people get leading action roles like Michael Sheen in Underworld 3 (Brian Clough, action hero? Give me a break). I would expect that if ladies (and possibly gay men) don’t go gaga over him already then this certainly will do the job.

The film as a whole feels like it’s desperately trying to be long. It feels like it’s taking too long to get where it’s going. I think particularly in the early part of the film. There’s a bit too much happening pre-dagger gaining I think. It’s what we’re waiting for and it doesn’t come into things until about 30 minutes in. After that there’s a lot of wandering and plodding as they quest for the temple of dagger of time disposal and such forth. But yet at the same time it never really gets boring. I didn’t find myself uncomfortable in my seat as it always knows when to throw in some fun dialogue or some exciting action.

The film does deserve its 12 certificate but at the same time it’s a shame it does. It only just gets into that rating through things like a severed head, a snake gutting scene and some scenes of throwing spikes thunking into their target. But if this had been just trimmed a little more it would have been an excellently suitable-for-all-the-family production. At 12 (a certificate I hate anyway) it never really feels one thing or another. It’s not really properly violent enough or safe enough. It’s a minor niggle though.

The trailer liked portraying it in almost 2012 level of disaster and destruction happening but pretty much all the action is small scale. The dagger of time is used quite sparingly. It almost feels a little disappointing that it is so brief in its usage but at the same time it’s good it isn’t over reliant on it. I think I have to come down on the side of it being the best situation.

Overall it’s a decent solid and entertaining production that I thoroughly enjoyed.

So why didn’t I just say that in the first place? Quick use the dagger to go back to the start of the review and change things!

Duncan turns his hand into a meat popsicle, and Derek regales you with challenging concepts about his front bike wheel. Yes: another 10 minutes of your life to be wasted. In particular, brace yourself for the loud gust of wind at about 5:45

 

Apologies, as this episode was delayed by a week. This was due to technical difficulties. Also domestic, financial, political, ideological and metaphysical difficulties.
Preamble!
- World of Warcraft (definitive marks out of 10 given)
- Dwarf Fortress (huge piles of dead dragonflies)
Games!
- Saints Row 2
- DJ Hero
Films!
- Kick Ass
- Rambo
- The Humanoid
Also!
- Runaway Car
- Duncan Recommends a Podcast = Sordid Cinema
- This week’s music by Bone Orchard

 

An omnibus edition – but not to worry, we are still on bicycles.
We ponder over the nature of publication “seasons”, bi-monthly vs. bi-weekly, and narrowly escape recording an entertaining and instructive conversation about the new Tron film; phew!

 

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